For Sandi

s is for sandi

One could say I lucked out in the in-law department. I went out for lunch with a gaggle of my in-laws a few weeks back, and as we passed a row of bikes in front of a coffee shop, I mentioned how much I love old cruisers.

"Would you like mine?", my sister-in-law Sandi asked. Of course I said yes. How could I resist her blue Schwinn, the bike she got when she was in the third grade? I love my new-old bike, I love that I'm riding a piece of Sandi's history, and I love Sandi.

I like to think of Sandi as my fairy sister-in-law. She has been my role model ever since the first time I ate dinner at her table. Homemade ravioli. George and I promptly went out and bought our own ravioli making equipment.

Sandi's children are all grown up now. Her son is getting married this weekend, and her daughter leaves next month to attend college in South America. I love to observe the relationship she has with her grown children, her children's friends, and the mommy friends she's had since her children were young like mine. It gives me hope.

hush now

I tend to be a little melancholic about mothering. I certainly didn't know how completely joyful and horribly sad it would be to watch my children grow up, or how painful it would be to see myself aging in the reflection of their eyes. The human condition can be so overwhelming and raw at times.

Sandi bears the human condition with beauty and grace, humility and generosity. I couldn't ask for a better fairy sister-in-law. Thank you Sandi for being you (and for the cruiser).


  1. I've really been loving your haiku. You inspired me to post one to the flickr group myself. I've always known that one of the hardest parts of being a parent is the continuous grieving we do. Change is an unstoppable undeniable force in the day to day life of a parent watching mindfully as their children grow up.

  2. Shoot, goose bumps two days in a row, Molly! "...see myself aging in the reflection of their eyes..." waaaaaaahhh!

  3. I love this new series Molly. So much.
    And I would be hard pressed, very, to pick an all time favorite FHHC post, but this just may be it... it seems such a very real piece of you and your gorgeous soul.

  4. Ah, I know how you feel about watching them grow up. So bittersweet.
    And I'm loving the haiku, too!

  5. AnonymousJune 19, 2009

    mmmmm. that was good.
    beauty, right there, molly.
    your entire post.
    xo sarah sd.

  6. AnonymousJune 20, 2009

    Two beautiful posts in a row -- thank you.

  7. Molly, from a melancholic mama - you are for me all those things your sister in law embodies to you - grace in the midst of the human condition. No use wishing we lived closer, just grateful we are connected at all.
    Love that bike seat.

  8. I don't know Molly, it's funny how sorrow can be so sweet all in one wonderfully mixed feeling. But from what I know of you, thanks to A Foothill Home Companion, you are very much beloved to your children and that will never change. Keep on being yourself Molly! Don't YOU change.

  9. I really enjoyed this post, and I couldn't agree with you more. ~karen

  10. Touching post about Sandi.

  11. I can not decide which photo and haiku I like better!
    So beautiful Molly! Lucky you receiving a blue Schwinn with a sweet looking "S" on the seat! All you need is a little basket on the front of it to collect wildflowers ; )
    Yes, raw and overwhelming this human condition can be at times... I think *your* pretty beautiful and graceful Mama expressing your emotion in such an artful way!

  12. completely joyful and horribly sad

    exactly how I am feeling these days about my own 14 year olds.

  13. How sweet! What a neat bike!

  14. It's a blessing to have special people in our lives.
    loving that picture of Aves and baby Aidan... i remember what a cuddle bug he was :)

  15. so lovely and sweet. and full of love.

    you have a beautiful blog!

  16. Such a lovely post. I have a Sandy-in-law too.
    : )

  17. haven't visited here for awhile. came upon seeing so wabi sabi's haiku post. i too have a fondness for haiku. how beautiful are yours! so delightful. i think i shall join in the fun!

  18. my first best friend, carrie, had a blue schwinn just like that. she was a few years older than me and that bike seemed so grown up to me. that seat with the "s" and the coils underneath made me loath my big long banana seat. congrats on your new bike!

    as for watching these little ones grow up at a much too fast rate - well, sometimes it is almost to much to bear. my boy is soon to be 3 and it seems like he was his sisters age just a few months ago. and those moments when i get a glimpse of how he will look or move or act when he's a bit older. those moments can melt my heart and break it at the same time.

  19. Oh, that made my eyes watery. Have I mentioned that I have two away this week. TWO. Lily at least has sent a postcard and a letter. Raike on the other hand...I heard from is "girlfriend" that he is having a blast. They both come home tomorrow, and I can't wait!

    And your sissy-in-law is pretty dang lucky too. xoxox

  20. What a touching post. This one has really stuck with me. I have had the same feelings about my kids growing older and myself as well. Thanks for letting me own my feelings because up until now I've felt guilty about not just being happy that they are healthy and growing. Of course I am, but it's so bittersweet.


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