9.29.2009

Lost Tribe Found

When I had my first child, I expected to find a group of moms that would gather me into their fold and that would become fast friends. Years went by, a second child came, and still I didn't find that elusive group of moms I had imagined.

I thought perhaps I'd find them when my daughter started preschool. There they'd be, standing in line with me, waiting to drop their children off, and they'd all invite me to their weekly rendezvous at the coffee shop. Didn't happen.

I patiently waited, and when we started homeschooling and attended mixers at our local homeschooling extension, I just knew I'd find my people. No such luck.

Sure, I've found some wonderful mommy friends over the years. I certainly haven't journeyed down the parenting path solo, but at the same time, I never found that group of mommies who parented like I did, who understood why we did things a little different regarding education, entertainment, nutrition, discipline, to name a few of our eccentricities.

When we first started homeschooling a few years back, I came across a wonderful quote on a blog, which I have since forgotten, but the gist was something like this - You must make the community you seek.

So I did. I sent out some emails to homeschooling moms I had met through blogging and flickring, and suggested we meet at a playground located in the middle of our wide radius. And that is how my children and I met our tribe.

children of the tribe

Behold the children of the tribe. Such a beautiful thing, to see them all in a row, getting along, eating homemade apple spice cake and gluten free chocolate pumpkin cookies.

i think my girl had fun

I think my kids enjoyed themselves. And the moms - well, where do I start? There was so much laughing, hugging, giving, receiving, nodding in agreement. It was a glorious event and truly a blessing to finally find the tribe of mommies I had been seeking, and all I had to do was send out a few emails. I just can't wait until our next tribal meeting. Thank you ladies for gathering me into your fold.

30 comments:

  1. That is interesting... you took the opportunity and MADE something! Thanks for the reminder! Sometimes I forget how much power is in this little mind of mine.

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  2. I need to do this. I crave this tribe you speak of, and I know my son does too. We recently attended an unschooling family camp 8 hours down the coast from our home and felt connected and understood and comfortable... but that was 8 hours away and full of people who had also traveled distances from many different directions. None of them are near us.

    I also expected some secret society of moms to appear... through pre-school, public school, homeschool, me working, me not working... they never appeared out of the woodwork. I'm a hermit, putting effort in myself to create the group I want... that's hard. but it's something I need to do. Thank you for posting this.

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  3. awesome. Thanks for the quote (or semi quote?) you do have to make the community sometimes.

    how fun!

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  4. beautiful. absolutely beautiful. I am searching for my tribe too - I've found one online but not quite in real life. I've been thinking about organizing a blogging get together. It is time to put those thoughts into action.

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  5. oh molly, you're words on our amazing day are my words exactly. i never would've imagined the difficulties in finding like minded mamas, even in the homeschooling community. i was starting to get horribly discouraged before discovering this world of blogs, this world of kindredness. i'm so lucky to have found all of you~ my tribe. the secret society of mamas does exist!

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  6. I'm jealous! Sounds wonderful. Good for you for putting yourself out there like that.

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  7. Just 9 months into this parenting gig, and I am familiar with the search. Glad to hear you've found a supportive group.

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  8. Good for you! I feel like I had this during the first five years of parenthood, when my son was brand new and I found an AP playgroup in my area that supported each other in going against the grain. It really felt like community. Then we moved to Austin and though I've made friends, it's never been the same. I applaud you for taking that kind of initiative!

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  9. Wow, Molly, that's so wonderful!

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  10. How fabulous--that sounds like such fun!
    I received your package yesterday--it topped off my perfect day. Thank you so much for the wonderful goodies. I am making soup with the bay leaves and have added the acorn basket and walnut candle to my nature shelf.

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  11. Dearest Molly, If someone had told me, months ago when I was lurking around your blog--not even realizing that your foothills were local California foothills--that one day you would call me part of your tribe, well, I would have dropped my knitting. I feel luckier than you know to have met you--and the rest of your tribe. You are such an inspiration to me, with your creativity and your kindness.

    Like you, I can't wait for another meeting of the tribe. Let's get those emails going!

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  12. What an inspiring idea - wish i could be part of your tribe of women and children.

    I had quite a tribe when my husband was in medical school - all of my tribe stayed home with their beautiful children and we played outside from dawn until dusk with our little ones... I miss it desperately and am realizing JUST how important it is to have a tribe of which you speak.

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  13. Awesome... I wish I had had the courage to do something like that when my children were young. Good for you!!!

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  14. oh man that is pure awesomeness. and i am feeling SO lost these years. no momma tribe here in maine. i miss my old tribe yet can't seem to fit in a new. and oh if only i could have a circle of support and encouragement such as this i know i could home school. i just know i could.
    yay for you!
    can i move in???

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  15. Thank you Molly for the inspiration and encouragement!!!

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  16. way to go, molly! there is nothing like good friends.

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  17. Thanks for this Molly. I can't explain it, but thanks.

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  18. Can I come to the next tribal meeting??? I too, seek my tribe and have yet to find one. So happy for you!!

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  19. So inspiring. i've been very discouraged about finding my own tribe, and this gives me hope. :)

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  20. I'm so happy you found a group of moms who made you feel like you were somehow "home"..... I'm still struggling here to make the connections that allow for the support and encouragement so necessary for homeschooling.

    I'm hoping all this good energy from your meeting wafts its way across the states to my coast :)

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  21. Thanks I so needed to hear that today! I am to a homeschooling momma. We had a community like that than we lost our car and lost our community too.
    We to have found that we have had to create the community where we are and appreicate what is looks like now!

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  22. Way to go Molly! I'm certainly guilty of sitting back and expecting others to make things happen, so your solution and the results are stupendous! Happy Heart Connections!

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  23. I'd be interested in your recipe for gluten free chocolate pumpkin cookies if you have it. My mam is coeliac and these sound gorgeous. I'm glad you found your tribe .

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  24. It is a great thing to finally find "your people". I found mine a few years ago and I know that we, as well as our children, will be friends for the rest of our lives. Such a comfort and a blessing.

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  25. i used the incorrect "your" in my comment. i never do that! excitement, i guess. ugh! i'm still, how long later? so happy that you organized this day.

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  26. This was so inspiring - and obviously from reading all the comments, a more common way of feeling than many of us like to admit! Thank you for vocalising what so many of us are feeling and showing us a way to make a change!

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  27. I live out in a very rural area and am a hermit. I have a very social daughter, so I need to break out of my shell more for her sake. *sigh*

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