When we got back from the library this afternoon, Aidan went straight out back to check for eggs. The duty has naturally fallen upon his shoulders the past few weeks. He came back in without eggs, and without his shorts.
Turns out he put the eggs in his pockets, and one of the eggs broke. So he took off his shorts and left them in front of the coop, which I suppose makes sense if you're a six year old boy. I went out back to retrieve the shorts and the surviving eggs, and found one egg intact in one pocket, and one pocket full of goo.
I thought about getting upset. Then I decided to get my camera. For some reason, taking pictures of little disasters like these helps me put things in perspective. And perspective is exactly what I need right now. You see, despite all that is going well in my life, I'm feeling a bit cracked up. There's no good reason, no satisfactory explanation, it's just the way I'm feeling right now. No one dropped me or squeezed me into a pocket; it's coming from the inside.
In fact, the outside world is doing all that it can to mend my broken shell. I made a new friend from an online acquaintance over the weekend at the Homeschoolers of California convention. Patricia of Wonder Farm is just as warm and endearing in person as she is on her blog. I can't wait to see her again.
Yesterday I received several wonderful emails from friends, showering me with love and affection. When I came in from doing yard work last night, I discovered that my son had cleaned his room and my daughter had voluntarily started working in her fourth grade math book. Today in the mail I received two fantastic packages from blog friends abroad. Life is good!
After taking several pictures of Aidan's gooey pockets, I took his shorts to the kitchen sink to wash them out. As I drained the broken egg down the disposal I heard a thud.
"Oh mom! I guess that egg is broken now too!", Aidan said as he sat on the side of the sink washing off his hands.
I nearly cried. For little did I know that in the pocket with the broken egg was a perfectly good unbroken egg. I know it's just an egg, but an egg is an egg, and sad is sad. I'll get over it. Tomorrow we'll collect more perfect eggs, but I'll send the boy out with a basket. And in time my memory of broken shells will fade, and my own shell will mend.
fragile shell days... you don't need a reason, they just happen.
ReplyDeletep.s. I used to collect eggs in my down jacket in the winter... until I forgot they were there one day and got in the car to go to the market... seat belt cracked it. sad mess.
hugs and kisses your way!
m
Oh, Molly. We just read this book called "Elijah of Buxton" (which is a GREAT book by the way) but in it, when Elijah is having an eggshell kind of day, he says he is feeling a little "fra-jile" and that is how I like to say it now, too. We all feel a little fra-jile sometimes... xo
ReplyDeletewhat a lovely post
ReplyDeleteWe're still waiting for our eggs to come.
ReplyDeleteI remember as a child I took care of a friend's house and coop. My dad came with me and I made him put the single collected egg in his breast pocket. I was emphatic that the egg should indeed be stored there and that it would no way no how break. Guess what it did? It broke.
Some days are more shattered than others. And now I must march back upstairs and continue harping on my children. They do not clean unbidden. ;o)
You will laugh about this someday! Because it's kinda funny ;) xoxo!!
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's the heat. hugs to you!
oh, I have been feeling a little strange too. Not quite myself - but when my aunt came visiting this morning that explained somethings : )
ReplyDeleteI hope for you a dozen of good days ahead!
oh, molly. hang in there. you even sound a little fragile, I can hear it in your post.
ReplyDeleteit will come around again. but you know that.
hugs from over here. tt
Aw, I love seeing kids develop their judgment skills :D My honey's mom kept a journal of all the cute things he said and did... if they had chickens, I know Jeff would have done the same thing :D
ReplyDeleteOh, too bad about the egg. My son dropped an incubator last week containing the eggs we were trying to hatch -- one of them had a chick fetus inside. It would have hatched this week. He was devastated! Having chickens sure broadens a child's range of experiences .. .and a parent's, no?
ReplyDeletebig hugs, friend. Broken shells are no fun - not either kind.
ReplyDeleteI hope things turn for you soon.
heh!
ReplyDeleteIf I had a dollar for every egg that broke in my pocket! And I'm an adult, so I have to keep my pants on...
Big hugs to you Molly!
ReplyDelete*hugs* It's good that you can see that an egg is just an egg, even on days when you're feeling fragile and stressed. That is a good skill to have, and one that more people could do to learn. (Some days I manage better than others.)
ReplyDeletemay your shell be put back together again soon, molly.
ReplyDeletethose stretched out times when you're feeling out of sorts are no fun.
finn says "i'm a little bit happy, a little bit sad". exactly, right?
And an egg is everything.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy this tenderness, and know you are loved, cracks and all.
i'm right there with you. feeling a little cracked here in corvallis too. wonder what kind of cycle this is. or are we more sensitive to the seasons than we know? anticipating change sends me spinning. i think i need to sit still and be present for a bit. it sounds like you've got a lot of love coming your way and you'll figure things out.
ReplyDeletea big hug to you.
-rebecca.
I felt so fragile and sad myself on Friday night at that conference. Missing my boy, missing so many friends. But sitting with you on Saturday turned it all around.
ReplyDeleteHope you feel better soon too. (I know you will!)
I hope this cheers you up. Our egg collector is my 5 year old. His favourite place to store collected eggs was the tube of paper towels on the kitchen counter. It must have happened five times that I went to use the paper towels and eggs fell and broke on the kitchen floor. I should have blogged it as if it's not funny today it will be a wonderful memory for the future. He now has a very accessible egg box to store them in.
ReplyDeleteOh Molly ... I do feel your pain, these fragile shell days, I've just felt them myself, and very very recently. No matter the reason, they're hard to bear. But you have friends all around, friends who love you so hard. Keep your chin up, and smile to life. :) Sending you tons of hugs today oxoxox
ReplyDeletebig hugg for you...
ReplyDeleteThanx for this post...you have put a voice to my hearts whisper.
ReplyDeleteoh molly. i hope today is better. i've been rather fragile myself lately. i'm trying to be gentle with myself and those around me...it has helped.
ReplyDeletebig hugs.
aw. Those days (or weeks) totally happen. I always feel so alone in them, but I know it happens to us all. I hope you feel a bit stronger soon, it sounds like you're on your way.
ReplyDeleteYour post was beautiful. Eggs are a wonderful way to express our feelings. We often feel fragile, cracked, scrambled or thin skinned. I am wishing you a stretch of sunny-side-up days.
ReplyDeletei have the cracked egg days too. my daughter, who is 4, told me to tell you she thinks you are pretty! she loves seeing your blog. she often sits on my lap as i read my daily blogs!
ReplyDeleteanyway, i hope today and the rest of the week is great! ~karen
very nice post. you have a great attitude--without being too sun-shiny!
ReplyDeletealso wanted to let you know that i was cold brewing coffee for the first time last night which got me to thinking about brewing beer, which got me to thinking about your husband. when will his guest post be happening? let him know that there is a woman in boston who is curious about his process!
Thank you for voicing what I often feel myself-- just feeling off somehow, despite the goodness I know is there, all around me.
ReplyDeleteoh, me too. sometimes life is just hard and mothering makes it harder. I've felt fragile-shelled most of the summer. It will pass.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this post.
ReplyDeleteI have just recently discovered your blog, and I am so glad I have! You are a wonderful writer and seem so real and honest! Thank you for sharing your adventures raising your family!
ReplyDeleteThere is a book by Amy Kraus Rosenthal called "One of Those Days"and it's about the different kinds of bad days you can have... yesterday was just a broken egg kind of day!
I have just recently discovered your blog, and I am so glad I have! You are a wonderful writer and seem so real and honest! Thank you for sharing your adventures raising your family!
ReplyDeleteThere is a book by Amy Kraus Rosenthal called "One of Those Days"and it's about the different kinds of bad days you can have... yesterday was just a broken egg kind of day!
Thanks for this post Molly. You know I've been braving through some fragile shell days and this post was very comforting.
ReplyDeleteThe world is such a wonderful place and yet right now the world is a bit fragile shelled too and I think all that we normally have to carry is all the heavier as we walk about wondering in our minds and hearts how we can make our own way better and the world around us better.
The enormity of the task is heavy even when we make our powerful little steps.
I wonder why I feel overwhelmed or fragile when I should be thankful. I think it's because I care. I know you care so very deeply about so many things too.
Tara and Finn said it best - "i'm a little bit happy, a little bit sad". That really struck a chord with me.
Here's many thoughts and hopes you feel better. We need some good fall weather. That cures so much.
And thanks for always making me feel better. C
I hope expressing it (so eloquently I might add) helps you get through it. And you will - get through it I mean. But there is no sense beating yourself up for feeling as you do - it's part of what makes you who you are.
ReplyDeleteYour post brought tears to my eyes. I am having one of those days too--although it is totally up to more than one day! Your egg story helped put it in perspective for me. It is always helpful to hear when others are feeling the same.
ReplyDeleteWhen we feel like this, I often wonder if it is just our feelings or if the feelings of others in the universe are slipping in. Sometimes it helps me to sort out what is mine and what might be more than mine.
Blessings!
is everyone having fragile days?
ReplyDeleteis it summer heat? overflowing gardens? wilting gardens? too many tasks taken on at once.
take care of yourself molly! and know there will be another egg, and another, and another.
and another day, and another chance, and another, and another and another.
I understand, totally! It has been an odd summer for me too. I was trying to do some more self portraits without making a face and the pictures looked so sad to me...i tried reading into it and it only made my day worse. I stick with what have found to work, deciding that it is up to me to change it around and be happy. takes practice and does not prevent the cracks from inside reaching the surface...but that is what they are suppose to do so they may find a way out!
ReplyDeleteThank you for this marvelous post. Wishing you well..
ReplyDeleteMolly.
ReplyDeleteSweet Molly. i'm sorry. I know this feeling so very very well, and I'm sorry. I only wish I could run over with pie and soup and stories to make you laugh because laughter through tears is just about the best kind there is. Hang in there, hon.