A change of perspective is a powerful problem solving strategy.
Sleep on it and it will look different in the morning.
Ask someone for their opinion and get a different view.
Walk away and approach the problem from another angle.
Two weeks ago, I was done blogging. I almost pulled every last post (over 600 of them) and posted a closed sign on my header.
Then I slept on it. I asked a few friends and family members what they thought. I walked away for a while.
And now I'm back with a different perspective. I thought I had lost my voice, but really, I think I just got sick and tired of my voice. My friend laughed the other day when I told her, "I exhaust myself", but it's true.
Every time I sat down to write a post, or tried to draft a post in my head, my voice sounded too authoritative and superior. Sure, I can be a bossypants sometimes, just ask my little brother, but that's not my preferred role. (BTW, I'm reading Bossypants by Tina Fey and OMG, LOL.)
I was recently telling my kids about Mrs. Huxtable from "The Cosby Show", and how she used to scare me when I was a kid. She was an intimidating, no-nonsense mom. Avery said, "I love no-nonsense moms!"
"Am I a no-nonsense mom?", I asked.
"No, but I love you anyways."
Ok, maybe she didn't say "I love you anyways", but I heard it.
So back to my blogging voice, which had become like fingernails scratching a chalkboard in my head. I think my voice changed when I started sharing my experience with the Paleo diet. With the diet, I found a solution to a problem that had literally been weighing me down for years. I was excited to share it with everyone I knew! But I'm no authority on the Paleo diet, nor do I want to be. I'd like to share recipes and workouts that I enjoy, but I don't want to tell you what to eat or how to exercise. The message might be the same, but it's all about delivery. I'd rather deliver like Bill Cosby than Phylicia Rashad. Who would you rather listen to? I always go for funny.
Do you know the best problem solving strategy of all? Stop calling it a problem.
If I need a blogging break, no problem.
If I eat something non-Paleo, no problem.
If I go for a few days without working out, no problem.
If my picture doesn't match my post, no problem.
If I can't figure out a good title or catchy ending, no problem.
If I overshare, no problem.
If my new perspective doesn't work out, no problem. I'll get a new one.
Problem solved.
so glad you didn't throw in the towel! for what it's worth, you come across as funny on my end :)
ReplyDeleteI have only been following you a few weeks and I have really enjoyed hearing your voice. I hope you can settle to it again and it gives you what you need.
ReplyDeleteI like your perspective!!!
ReplyDeleteI always love your voice, Molly.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to have perspective on your voice as a writer. How do you come across to others? Who knows? I struggle with this all the time. The more excited and earnest I am about an idea, the harder it is to remember to temper my thoughts with humor. But I agree with you, humor is so important. As is a measure of self-deprecation. I think those two things are important because they force writers to consider their audience. You can ignore your audience if you're just shooting off manifestos all the time. But if you're trying to be funny? You have to consider whether what you're writing will actually make your readers laugh. You have to consider your readers.
The poet Billy Collins said: "Not to be aware of the reader's presence is sort of like being in a room with somebody and ignoring them, which I don't think is an acceptable way of behaving in life or in literature."
I love that. And I always feel considered when I visit your space here.
I am glad you reconsidered your perspective...I'd have missed you....
ReplyDeleteOh do I know the struggle of the photo matching the post! If I don't have a photo...I don't post. My photos are my springing off point for a blog post...and I can't have a post without a photo!! NO WAY! But then what do you do when you haven't taken photos in weeks but people are writing asking "where are you?"
ReplyDeleteYeah...I get this post big time. No worries...maybe you can adopt the BWO attitude...Blogging without Obligation.
Glad you didn't shut things down...:)
great attitude!
ReplyDeleteHooray! I would have missed your little corner of the blogosphere.
ReplyDeleteYep - Blog Without Obligation. It's YOUR space and you can do what you like in it.
xx
Yay! I'm glad you didn't leave the blososphere. I know what you mean about getting sick of your own voice, though, I struggle with it too. I think everybody does, sometime or another.
ReplyDeleteIf it's any consolation, I never thought you sounded judge-y or condescending; quite the opposite. I get the impression that you are an open-minded person who is just trying to figure out her own way in life and who happens to be an eloquent write and talented photographer; lucky for us!
thank goodness because i would have missed you terribly. love you no matter what you share and how you share it :)
ReplyDeleteSo much of life seems to be about perspective. I find as i get older, I am better able to look at things from a different perspective. I'm glad you decided to stick around. i would have missed your unique perspective.
ReplyDeleteLove it. If you move on - no problem. Do me a favor though and don't ever take down what you've done. I always want to delete old posts myself but I'd hate to lose yours. I loved this post. I love that you wrote it when you had something to say. Miss you.
ReplyDeleteI had no idea you were thinking of giving it up! Yours was one of the first blogs I started reading years ago - coming across you at habit, maybe? Having just started a blog - I find myself wondering why or if I'll stick with it. I'm honestly not sure. I'd miss you and your blog though I'd hope to still see you around flickr!
ReplyDeleteFrom every angle, from each perspective, you totally rock. Your voice is real and fresh and comforting. I miss not seeing you in my reader. Like from my perspective, I wish you could post every day - you have me checking out every piece of material I can find at the library avec Paleo. You go on with your sweet self, Molly - your readers love you.
ReplyDeletexoxo michele
Love your voice. Always. Thanks for staying!
ReplyDeleteGreat attitude. I like the wat you reframe it all - no problem!
ReplyDeleteReminds me of one of my favourite quotes (Dali Lama I think)...
If a problem has a solution, why worry
If a problem has no solution, why worry.
So good!
well said molly!
ReplyDeletejust be you cause we love you
i loved your list of no problems
you made me smile
it is your space and your zone
let your voice ring out
: )
sherry
rovinggirl
holla!
ReplyDeleteamen?
whatever, i'm glad you're sticking around. x
i like your voice and the things you talk about.
it's you that your sharing and well, i like you.
Dang-it all, Molly! I just really like you! :) I only blog for business anymore, and that's boring and self-serving (LOL) but I think I understand what you're saying. We're doing a lot of different dietary things at our house too. High raw, trying out gluten free, juicing. I feel excited at things I'm discovering but I don't want to talk to people too much about it either because well, what if I decide I don't want to eat all this raw food anymore. What if they think I'm telling them what to eat? Same with exercise for me too. I get so stuck in my own head. Anyway, I just love your blog, but I have zero expectation of it either! I just love reading what you write because I like YOU, no matter what you write. Keep doing whatever you like and what works for you! :)
ReplyDeleteChristie
(from the homeschool group)
Hi Molly. I recently listened to the audiobook, “The Art of Happiness,” by the Dalai Lama in which he made the point that most of our unhappiness is of our own creation. He essentially said what you said – no problem. Well, he said a lot of other stuff too -- but the book started with a suggestion that if you do not frame something as a problem, then you don’t have the mental conflict of having to solve the problem. – Mark.
ReplyDeleteI think that is a great way to solve the problems of life. It will help to make good decisions
ReplyDeleteDoes it help to know that you aren't the only one who experiences this? I've lost count of the number of times I've considered throwing in the towel, and many times because of my own perception of fingernails on the chalkboard of hearing my "voice" and "whine" and basic "dipshittedness". But perhaps it's your vulnerability and authenticness that make us appreciate you being here. Be kind to yourself!
ReplyDeletexo
J.
Wonderful perspective! also, I imagine you are your own worst critic. What sounds bossy to you, doesn't necessarily sound bossy to your readers. Hope you keep writing - I like your voice and learn from your words.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you are back. I only very recently discovered your blog, and thought oh she's just busy, oh she's got a family, oh maybe she is doing something fun or mundane or real and then will tell us about it. Keep writing. One caveat: do it for yourself. We, your readers will like you anyways...
ReplyDeleteI too, love the phrase Blog without obligation. I am very glad you are sticking around. I would have missed you. I love coming here and seeing what you are up too. You inspire me.
ReplyDeleteI could use a little perspective shift in my own life. I will be thinking about these words this week.
My holiday is not till end of March. I sometimes think I will barely make it.
writers write through it.
ReplyDeleteand you are a great writer and you have wonderful things to share.
if you close the blog, we will all understand.
if you keep it up, we will be grateful.
XO
C
writers write through it.
ReplyDeleteand you are a great writer and you have wonderful things to share.
if you close the blog, we will all understand.
if you keep it up, we will be grateful.
XO
C
I enjoy your blog. Glad you decided to stick around! :)
ReplyDeleteI like your voice and your perspective.
ReplyDeleteso glad you're still around. love this post!
ReplyDeleteI too am glad you decided to stick around. :>) I've lurked here long before you changed your eating habits, and smiled to myself when you did as it's my favorite way of eating too. A bit here and a bit there -- post whatever you feel like -- it's always inspiring to me. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteCracking up at the ending. I do love you so (nonsense or not).
ReplyDeleteThank you, I am so glad you decided to continue blogging. Blog posts are constant source of perspective and inspiration for me, and I really love hearing your thoughts on the world.
ReplyDeleteJill
I agree with others...I read your blog because I like you, at least what I know of you. I don't think you are a bossypants. And I still have your chicken photo with crocheted star tucked into the corner of my bathroom mirror. I am going to try to remember this: "If I overshare...no problem" that one plagues me from time to time.
ReplyDeleteDarling, have you considered including guest authors on your blog? To give you a chance to rest your voice, include an 'expert', and perhaps regain inspiration? I'm sure some of us readers expect you to be perfect, but hopefully the majority are here because you are a real woman with a real voice, and we like you!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you decided to not quit! I look forward to reading your posts and even tho our lives are very different,(my children are grown and gone)I get alot of joy reading about yours.
ReplyDeleteI have lived by the "no problem" rule for a while now.Life just throws so much at you sometimes,that I figured it would be better to be very flexible than to drive myself nuts by trying to keep to a rigid standard,(or any at all! LOL I kid! ).
And we are our worst critics!! Don't be so hard on yourself.You are loved! Always remember that! Darlene
I have never commented before, but I have been reading your blog off and on for a while now. Personally I have found your paleo posts to be very inspiring and I am so glad that you have shared your success. I find your blog to be beautiful, peaceful and authentic. Putting yourself out there takes a certain amount of courage and I admire that. So, I just wanted to say thank you!
ReplyDeleteI've been a lurker for a while here and definitely heard the change in your voice with the start of your transformation. I think that sort of life change will inevitably change your tone of voice and prompt the need to re-assess. So glad you decided to come back though. I love hearing your voice from all the way over here in Sydney Australia!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear you're sticking around! Recently I drastically cut my online time and your blog is one of only a small number that I kept in my google reader subscriptions. Thank you for your thought-provoking, intelligent posts in general, and today for your perspective on reframing problems.
ReplyDeleteI loved hearing about your Paleo adventure, it was very inspiring and got me excited and interested in thinking about all the food choices I make...they didn't come across superior at all! Thanks for sticking around :)
ReplyDeleteLove your list at the end and I get that fear of sounding superior..it's totally not where I'm at either but i think when I feel excited I may sound evangelistic.... no problem :) I loved your conviction and excitement of your paleo shift and it is these posts that have me returning to your blog...they are the ones that hooked me.
ReplyDelete