George woke up on Valentine's Day and told me about a dream he had. In his dream, we were preparing for a huge family reunion at our house, and while he was busy doing all the work, I was sitting at the computer blogging.
Have you ever had a dream that someone did something that upset you, and you woke up mad at them? Perhaps you were mad at them all day long because of what they did in your dream. Well I have, on more than one occasion, even though I know it's irrational. But Saturday was the first time I was irritated with someone because of their dream (irrational? yes).
For the record, I don't spend that much time on the computer. Not nearly as much as I used to. My family seems to have a different opinion though. Rather than seeing the time I don't spend at the computer, cooking meals, doing laundry, sweeping the floor, reading books out loud, keeping the home fire burning, playing games, knitting them hats, taking countless pictures of them, they seem to have a permanent mental picture of me sitting at the computer.
I have drastically cut back on my computer time the last few months. My four to five posts per week has shrunk to two or three posts per week. I have also reduced the number of blogs I visit, which really saddens me. I love reading blogs, seeing what you are making, how you're holding up to the pressures of parenting, what's cooking in your kitchen, stewing in your brain. I also love that the blogging community is reciprocal - you visit me, I visit you. But I've had to reduce the amount of visiting I do, and in doing so I am missing out on keeping up with all of you.
Perhaps circumstances will change and I'll find more time to visit in the future. These cold, short days often find my family in close quarters, watching each other's every move. My computer time is closely observed. I'm hoping that when the weather warms up and the sun comes out, the great outdoors will distract my dears and they'll turn their attention away from me and the computer. Maybe then I'll be able to catch up on what I've been missing.
I'm no longer irritated with George about his dream. I got over it pretty fast actually. Unfortunately, I might have given him reason to be irritated with me though. You see, while I wasn't on the computer yesterday I offered to wash his work jacket, but then I got on the computer and forgot to dry his work jacket. Oops. Maybe he has a point.
This week I'm dedicating my computer time to Erin's yellow week. Going through my photos I was surprised by how much yellow I found. I could use a little yellow this week - it's awfully gray and cold outside (which makes me feel even worse about George's jacket - sorry honey!). The photo above was Avery's idea. I just love it when I hear the words, "Mom, take a picture of this!" It's an opportunity to see the world through their eyes - a unique opportunity indeed.
made me laugh a bit because my husband gives me a bit of a hard time too. i just shrug and shove my work laptop at him.
ReplyDeletei just found your blog and really am enjoying it. great crafting goes on here.
i hear you.
ReplyDeletei feel like i have cut back too. and working when the kids are in bed.
but just today one of them said, mama, you could bring your computer out here and watch us play.
ugh!!!!!
i went to watch them play WITHOUT my computer.
way to go. set those limits.
take care.
Hey, don't we all have (and need!) hobbies and down time? Some talk on the phone, some run, some play video games or watch tv. You choose the computer and all it has to offer! Its all about balance, yes, and only you know where that stands, but hopefully the comments from your family are simply harmless teasing. Perhaps if you explain that it may just look like you are at the computer to them, for you, it is time to journal and reflect on life, be inspired, connect and socialize with others, and take a deserved break! If they understand the ways it gives you joy, hopefully they'll lay off.
ReplyDelete:)
I love that girl's black fingernails, your dilemma, and George's wet jacket. my computer has been crashing all morning. telling me something, maybe?
ReplyDeletehow I can relate to this one. I tell my family that blogging has helped me so much - new recipes, new crafting ideas, tips to save money, parenting, making 'friends' - it's more than they realize. And, it beats sitting in front of the TV being completely mindless.
ReplyDeletep.s. i love yellow
Oh, Molly, welcome to my world! I feel like I never sit down all.day. and then when I do they are all rolling their eyes and wagging their fingers, like all I ever do is blog and eat bon-bons (what are those, anyway?)
ReplyDeleteTake what you need, I say. Otherwise, what can you give?
Best wishes,tt
Precisely the reason I do all my computer time when everyone is sleeping. Just gotten reacquainted with your blog again Molly - will be keeping better tabs on you.
ReplyDeleteYour post reminded me of a Mother's Day Tea my daughter had in kindergarten (before we started homeschooling). Each of the children answered questions about their mothers. One of the questions was: "My mom likes to....." My daughter answered, "talk on the phone a lot." I was mortified. All her other classmates had answers like: "My mom likes to bake me cookies, or read to me, or play legos with me." These were all things I did with my daughter but she could only remember that I talked on the phone a lot. Of course she didn't understand that I was the president of the board of a non-profit and we were experiencing staffing issues. It was shortly after that that I resigned my position. I just could not get that one sentence out of my head.
ReplyDeleteHA! My husband thinks that if I'm on the computer when he comes home from work, I MUST have been on it all day. And while I do check in quite a bit during the day, I'm not on it more than an hour total. It's those impressions, though, that invade their psyche!
ReplyDeleteOh, how I can relate. Such an interesting take on things- I love it!
ReplyDeletelooking in the mirror here....
ReplyDeleteI totally relate; it really stings when my kids say things like "mom's always on the computer," when in reality, over 90% of my time is spent doing things for and with them! You put it so aptly. It's a tough balance.
ReplyDeleteyep, it's the frequent misperception of moms everywhere. My nightmare would be if you stop blogging. : )
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderfully honest post. Here's the thing--blogging and reading others' blogs has made me a better and happier person. Sounds dramatic, but it's true. I feel so much more grounded, settled in my own head, and happy with my life now that I've found other women who share my interests and values. This is huge for me. I'm sad that it's hard on my family sometimes. Obviously, I try not to spend too much time on the computer, but going cold turkey is not an option that I see as positive or desireable. Thanks so much for your post!
ReplyDeletenice to see so many are in the same boat!
ReplyDeletelol, george's jacket ;) oops. I've done that so many times with Jerry's uniforms left in the dryer to wrinkle. Now he washes them at work and rarely brings them home. (A much better system if you asked me!)
I had a mad hott long-lasting crush on a boy in high school only because I had a dream about him playing Crash by Dave Matthews on his guitar in a storage closet.
ReplyDeleteI always wonder how moms and dads blog and concurrently raise kids. You all must be multi-talented multitaskers.
I just found your blog. I love your craftwork. The rock is especially amazing! Hope you'll be back around soon. I raised one daughter, now 21 and I never had time to be on the computer unless it was late at night...
ReplyDeletebest
linda
oh yeah.
ReplyDeletei hate that they automatically come to look for me up where the computer is. but at the same time, it's such a great connection for me at odd intervals during the day - homeschooling, you know?
but i'm trying to do better, too.
ah I think this is the age old mama dilemna, they only see you when you pause to take a minute or two for yourself, be it a bath, a blog or a bit of chocolate. They never see you whirlwinding around, folding laundry, making lunch, baking bread trying to get as much done as possible before you need to apply bandaids, apprehend cookie thieves or run interference while spelling c-o-o-k-i-e out loud.
ReplyDeleteblog on woman!
Over my years at home my husbandhas ardently supported me undertaking activities that kept me sane, and so effective at parenting full time. Eventually, I do sense quiet resentment. I've worked so hard to be domestically efficient and effective and given up so much of my own life in favour of "our" life, if I can squeeze out some time for myself I spend it that way too - when I'm by myself. Some days I feel very wise doing things this way, some days, I admit it just feels pathetic. How ever it appears though, it seems to work.
ReplyDeletei am trying to cut back as well. my daughter has made some comments to me about my computer use. i've been trying to do most of my stuff in the wee hours of the morn. but that isn't always happening. thanks for your post.
ReplyDeleteOkay, this must be universal! Nice to know I'm not alone. My family gives me so much grief about being on the computer. Sometimes it makes me really aggrivated and other times they have a point when I don't get things done and frequently forget something I was supposed to do...
ReplyDeleteBut I echo what many said that blogging, creating, inspiration, friendships, etc. have become vital to my soul. And what you offer is of great significance as well. Yea, it would be a nightmare if you stopped blogging! :)
I totally know how you feel, I feel that way sometimes too. Especially when Nate makes a comment that I'm on the computer too much.
ReplyDeleteI got it: when writing your posts, do it on a piece of paper first so no one sees you in front of the computer while you are in the writing process.
ReplyDeleteThen: whenever you want to sit and brouse blog sites, tell everyone they get an hour to do whatever they want all by themselves -- yipee! (Mommy's thing is to be at the computer).
You can fool 'em~
computer time is one of the reasons i am having yellow week...
ReplyDeletei completely understand. matt walked by the office the other day and jokingly said "addict". i know he was kidding, but . . .
ReplyDeleteand i don't spend that much time on the computer either. i try to get on during nap time - which isn't always possible and then after the boy is in bed. i am not a phone person. so i do communicate a lot through the computer, especially since many of my friendships are long distance relationships.
i think matt realizes that, but my time in front of the machine does cut into our evening time which is limited with two little ones, i suppose.
so, you could say i'm trying to cut back here too - or at least simplify things. say, like doing a photo a day for a month : )
whenever, you do pop in here though i will be happy to see and hear from you. as always!
Hmmm, I hear the same thing at home. I never hear, "all you do is cook!"
ReplyDeleteI've had to cut back too, but we can always catch up.
Computer 'friends'... like the knitting ciircle or relief society of ol.
ReplyDelete"Mommy! Stop COMPUTERING!"
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to be more present, to focus on whatever is at hand rather than splitting my attention a million different ways... and to limit my laptop time to the time when my four year old is watching tv. I figure that if I'm concerned about HER overdoing it, I can monitor my own screen time too!
He, he...I have to laugh. I get mad at S for his dreams too. And hold them over his head for weeks! So funny.
ReplyDeleteAnd as far as the computer time, Im learning...its all about balance. Hang in there.
I experience the post-dream emotions all the time. The sad dreams are the worst; like when you dream of losing someone and you walk around clinging to them all day.
ReplyDeleteMy husband says the same ting about my computer time. Okay, I'll admit it; I may spend too much time online. :/ But like you the wealth of info available on blogs is too hard to miss!
~Tara
Molly....you speak of what i know. Finding the right balance of family and crafting and blogging and friends and work and... and... and... Thanks for speaking up about it.
ReplyDeleteTake care of what matters most and the rest will take care of itself.
p.s. you took a TRAIN to my home state??? I love traveling by train, but never think of it back home. Wow! Love the desert pic!